MarketWatch reader offered to treat a female friend to cocktails, but the bill exceeded $180
The author of a letter to MarketWatch's Dollar Signs column described a misunderstanding over paying at a restaurant. He was unable to attend his female friend's birthday, so he offered to treat her to a cocktail another time.
During that meeting, according to the letter writer, the woman ordered an appetizer, an entrée, two desserts and several cocktails. The cost of the order exceeded $180. The letter writer believed his offer applied to the drinks, while his companion would pay for the food herself.
Different understandings of the offer
The female friend did not take out a card to pay and thanked him for the bill, which the letter writer interpreted as an expectation that he would pay for the entire order. He noted that he does not spend such amounts even on close friends and wondered whether he should send a Venmo request for reimbursement of at least half the cost of the food.
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The author also explained that they are not particularly close friends, although he wanted to spend more time talking with her one-on-one. After the situation with the bill, he doubted whether it was worth becoming closer to this person in the future.
The columnist's advice
The Dollar Signs columnist advised against sending a money request without discussing it first: it could appear passive-aggressive and create awkwardness within their shared circle of acquaintances. The response noted that expecting payment of a $180 bill is unusual, but both sides may have understood the vaguely worded offer differently.
The columnist recommended paying the bill and setting out the terms in advance in the future. For example, he could say that dinner would be before the meeting, or immediately tell the waiter that one person is paying for the drinks while each person pays for their own food. The letter writer was also advised to decide whether he wants to continue becoming closer after this experience.
