In Australia, experts urge parents to discuss the risks of strangulation during sex with children
In Australia, sexual health specialists have urged parents to urgently talk to their children about the dangers of strangulation during sex following the death of a 16-year-old girl from Sydney. As ABC News Australia reports, the girl allegedly lost consciousness and suffered a seizure as a result of asphyxia after she was reportedly strangled during consensual sex.
A 2024 study involving 4,702 Australians aged 18 to 35 found that 57% of respondents had experienced strangulation during sex. According to Jackie McMillan, senior project officer at Women’s Health NSW, sexual strangulation means pressure on the neck that restricts airflow or blood flow.
Risks of sexual strangulation
McMillan stressed that this is a high-risk sexual practice for which there is no safe way. The consequences may include severe injuries, brain damage and death; legal consequences are possible even if the participants consented.
According to the expert, medical professionals and safety specialists prefer the more precise term “strangulation,” although the word “choking” is more commonly used in everyday speech. Chanel Contos, founder and executive director of Teach Us Consent, noted that the term more familiar to young people may help start the conversation, after which the seriousness of the risks should be explained.
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Contos also noted that young people often report choking without any prior conversation or agreement. Even when a person believes they agreed to such an act, they may not be aware of the associated dangers, meaning their consent is not informed.
Talking about boundaries and media literacy
Sexual health educator and author of the book Talking Sex: A Conversation Guide for Parents, Vanessa Hamilton, believes parents should not fear such conversations: providing information does not encourage children to become sexually active. She advises explaining from an early age that people must not touch someone else’s neck or prevent anyone from breathing.
As children grow older and gain access to the internet, conversations can address personal boundaries, informed consent and critical engagement with media content. In the study mentioned above, 61% of respondents said they had most often learned about sexual strangulation from pornography; other sources included films, friends and social media.
Experts advise using everyday situations, including car rides, for such conversations. When children ask unexpected questions, Hamilton recommends answering honestly, acknowledging when there is no answer and, if necessary, looking for reliable information together.
