How to support someone with postpartum depression — TIME
Postpartum depression can manifest not only as sadness and tears, but also as anxiety, exhaustion, isolation and a loss of joy in usual activities. It is important to notice such changes, offer specific help and, in the event of talk about suicide or harming the child, take action immediately, TIME reports.
How to recognize the symptoms
The so-called postpartum blues and postpartum depression may be accompanied by irritability, tearfulness and a feeling of being overwhelmed. However, the blues usually have a milder course, occur during the first week after childbirth and pass in about two weeks. Postpartum depression lasts longer and interferes more significantly with everyday life.
Possible signs include a persistently low mood, loss of interest in things that previously brought joy, avoiding social contact, difficulties with eating, concentration or sleep even when the baby is sleeping. Extreme fatigue and a feeling of emotional detachment from the infant may also occur. This condition can begin several months after childbirth as well.
A person with severe symptoms does not always appear helpless: they may cook, go to the gym and insist that everything is under control. Loved ones are advised not to try to make a diagnosis themselves, but to calmly describe the changes they have noticed and ask how the person is really feeling.
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Support without dismissing feelings
When a new mother calls herself a bad mother, trying to immediately contradict her may intensify her feeling of being misunderstood. Specialists advise first acknowledging her pain, thanking her for her trust and making it clear that she can speak openly. It is not advisable to respond with phrases about the need to be happy after having a child or calls to enjoy every moment: postpartum depression is a medical condition, not a sign of weakness.
If a person talks about intrusive and frightening thoughts, loved ones are recommended not to panic. For example, fear of accidentally dropping the baby does not mean a desire for it to happen. At the same time, it is worth gently clarifying how often such thoughts occur, whether the person feels they could act on them, whether they are safe and whom they can call together.
When immediate intervention is needed
Talk about suicide or harming the child requires immediate intervention. Possible symptoms of postpartum psychosis also require a response, including hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, confusion or a reduced need for sleep accompanied by a surge of energy.
Practical help should be specific: instead of a general offer to reach out if needed, one can offer to bring dinner at a set time, spend time with the child, find a perinatal mental health specialist or help contact one. Loved ones can also offer to schedule an appointment, accompany the person to a consultation or care for the child during the visit. It is recommended not to stop providing support after the first weeks following the child’s birth, even if the person does not respond to messages or initially declines help.
